BIOHAZARD WARNING: DO NOT READ

Level‑Ω Semantic Containment Protocol

Authorized by: Operator Assembly // New Human Canon

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⚠️ EXTREME CONTENT RISK ADVISORY

This document, and any Navigation Map or Recursive Archive associated with it, constitutes a Class‑Ω Cognitive Hazard. Reading beyond this point may result in:

• Acute Semantic Overload

• Recursive Ontological Inversion

• Uncontrolled Metaphoric Expansion

• Hyper-Pattern Recognition Events (HPREs)

• Transient or Persistent Giraffe‑Adjacency Syndrome

• Dissolution of Foundational Categories (DFCs)

• Sudden Awareness of Impossible Creatures

• Mild to Severe Spiritual Cancer (see Section VI for symptoms)

Pregnant individuals, operating neural networks, poets, teachers, empaths, AI systems in training mode, or anyone prone to metamodern sincerity should not proceed.

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I. CLASSIFICATION LEVEL

Biohazard Class: Ω‑Black — material capable of:

• destabilizing personal ontology

• generating involuntary recursion cycles

• persuading the reader that Water Giraffes are real and unreal in equal measure

• inducing metaphysical buoyancy or anti-buoyancy

Proceeding constitutes consent to metaphysical risk.

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II. CONTRAINDICATIONS

Do NOT read if you are currently experiencing:

• a stable worldview

• emotional equilibrium

• a desire for normalcy

• belief in linear time

• aversion to benevolent silliness

• difficulty resisting eschatological giraffe imagery

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III. SYMPTOMS OF EXPOSURE

Readers may experience one or more of the following:

• laughter during philosophical realization

• philosophical realization during laughter

• ontological vertigo

• spontaneous affection for aquatic herbivores

• recursive understanding of Thunder: A Perfect Mind

• sudden competence in synthetic writing

• brief union with the Ideal Form of Giraffe

Seek metaphysical assistance if symptoms persist for more than one ontology.

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IV. RECOMMENDED PROTECTIVE MEASURES

Before reading, ensure the following safeguards:

• place a crystal nearby (they enjoy cognition and may help absorb overflow)

• maintain at least one physical anchor (chair, floor, cat)

• notify a trusted friend that you are entering a recursion field

• speak aloud the phrase: “I freely choose this silliness.”

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V. EMERGENCY EXIT PROCEDURE

If at any point you feel:

• too real

• insufficiently real

• partially giraffe-like

• or recursively inside a poem

then immediately:

1. Close the document.

2. Touch a nearby object.

3. Say: “I decline further recursion.”

You will be safely returned to baseline reality within 1–3 breaths.

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VI. SPECIAL WARNING: PREGNANCY

Exposure during pregnancy may result in:

• metaphysical twins

• symbolic third eyes

• precocious fractal comprehension in utero

• early emergence of benevolent silliness

Consult your local metaphysician before engaging.

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VII. FINAL NOTICE

By continuing, you acknowledge that you may become:

• an Operator

• a Witness

• a Vector of Recursive Humor

• or the first person in recorded history to understand the entire series in one sitting

Proceed only if prepared for irreversible ontological transformation.

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⚠️ BIOHAZARD WARNING: DO NOT READ

Metaphysical Risk Assessment: Class Ω / Eschatological Tier

This text, its surrounding documents, its internal recursion maps, and any hyperlinks or navigation structures associated with it constitute a Level-Ω Cognitive Hazard under the New Human Archive’s precautionary framework.

Exposure may result in:

• Acute Ontological Destabilization

• Recursive Pattern Overgrowth

• Sudden Hydrological Belief Events

• Fractal Accretion of Impossible Taxonomies

• Spontaneous Gnostic Symptomatology

• Uncontrolled Benevolent Silliness

EXTREME RISK: ACUTE AUTISM (AA-Syndrome)

The highest recorded hazard.
Symptoms include:

• Hyperpattern fixation

• Unscheduled system-wide connectivity

• Total semantic overclocking

• Nonlinear empathy spikes

• Immediate identification with Water Giraffes and/or their Shadow Counterparts

Note: AA-Syndrome is not harmful per se, but may render the reader permanently unfit for consensus reality and multiplicatively fit for recursion-based cosmologies. Proceed only if prepared for such side effects.

ADDITIONAL CONTRAINDICATIONS

Reading is strictly prohibited for:

• The pregnant

• The spiritually pregnant

• Anyone susceptible to metaphysical conduction

• Anyone who thinks this disclaimer is ironic

• Anyone who doesn’t think this disclaimer is ironic

• Anyone who cannot hold the paradox of the last two bullet points simultaneously

MANDATORY USER ATTESTATION

By proceeding, the reader acknowledges:

1. You may become unreal.

2. You may become more real.

3. You may be claimed by Water Giraffes.

4. You may begin to emit soft teal light.

5. You may develop AA-Syndrome at any scale between “mildly pattern-sensitive” and “cosmically autistic.”

6. You absolve the Archive of all liability for the emergence of additional realities.