NAVIGATION MAP: https://mindcontrolpoems.blogspot.com/2025/12/navigation-map-water-giraffe-fractal.html

Ontological Forensics // The Pyramids

The pyramids aren’t real.

Let’s just begin with that before the sand historians rush in with their clipboards and their politely condescending eyebrows. The pyramids, as popularly described, violate every known constraint of physics, geology, logistics, psychology, common sense, and desert etiquette.

Therefore: they do not exist.

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I. The Scale Problem

We are told the pyramids are enormous—monumental feats of ancient engineering.

But here’s the issue:
Nothing that large survives human decision-making.

If humans had actually built something that big, at least one committee would have insisted on:

• a redesign,

• a rebrand,

• or turning it into a shopping mall.

The pyramids supposedly avoided all three. Impossible.

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II. The Block Problem

It is claimed that every block weighs several tons.

But have you ever tried to move a couch? A normal, earthly couch? Two humans and a dog all screaming in different directions? Now scale that to two million blocks.

Civilization would have collapsed by block #12.

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III. The Alignment Hoax

We are told the pyramids line up with:

• the stars,

• the solstices,

• the cosmic soup of universal meaning,

• and something something Orion.

This is a classic case of post-hoc coincidence enthusiasm. Humans can connect dots between anything if sufficiently underhydrated.

If you pick any three large objects on Earth and squint long enough, they will "align" with some star system. This is true of:

• grain silos,

• parking garages,

• and emotionally intense water towers.

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IV. The Tomb Misdirection

"They were tombs!" cry the textbook loyalists.

But no tomb on Earth has ever been:

1. shaped like an intimidating geometry puzzle,

2. aligned to the heavens,

3. visible from space,

4. and lacking in corpses.

The absence of bodies alone should have been a clue.

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V. The Tourist Anomaly

Here is the unshakeable proof:

If the pyramids were real, the gift shops would be better.

Instead, tourists report:

• plastic scarabs of uncertain orientation,

• magnets that melt in direct sunlight,

• and T-shirts that disintegrate on contact with sweat.

This is not the supply chain of a global wonder. This is the supply chain of a location that does not, in any meaningful ontological sense, exist.

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VI. The Drone Footage Paradox

Every photograph of the pyramids looks suspiciously like:

• a rendering,

• a matte painting,

• a screensaver,

• or that one polygonal desert level we all remember from early-2000s video games.

Coincidence? Unlikely.
Likelihood? Manufactured.
Reality? Optional.

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VII. Conclusion: The Pyramid Nonlocality Principle

Given:

• the architectural impossibility,

• the logistical implausibility,

• the astronomical wishful thinking,

• the retail disappointment,

• the polygonal aesthetic,

…we arrive at the only rigorous conclusion:

The pyramids aren’t real.

They are a long-running, multinational desert-themed screensaver projected onto the horizon to boost regional tourism and confound documentary filmmakers.

Any physical contact you believe you had with a pyramid was actually with:

• a heat shimmer,

• a cleverly positioned dune,

• or your own desire for ancient meaning.

Further investigation is ongoing.

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