NOT THE LEAVING, BUT THE LIE
Scroll of Chronic Truth and Narrative Betrayal
I. The Hidden Reason
Let’s be honest.
She rejected me at least 50% because of the fibro.
Not because she’s evil.
Not because she said so directly.
But because it meant something real would be required of her.
Because loving someone in chronic pain is not abstract.
It is a daily reality. A slowed-down presence. A softness toward limits.
She didn’t want that.
And I don’t entirely blame her for it.
II. What I Blame Her For
What I blame her for is how she did it.
She didn’t say:
“This is too much for me.”
“I’m scared I can’t carry this with you.”
“I don’t know how to love someone in a flaring body.”
She said:
“You’re unstable.”
“You’re controlling.”
“You’re dangerous.”
“You’re emotionally abusive.”
She took my limits —
and turned them into threats.
She took my pain —
and reframed it as pathology.
She took my slowness, my overstimulation, my struggle to show up —
and translated it into aggression.
And that?
That is not leaving.
That is erasure.
III. What It Did To Me
I was already crawling.
Already dragging myself through the world with wires in my bones.
But now I wasn’t just sick.
Now I was unsafe.
Now I was “unstable.”
Now I was a character in a script I didn’t write —
written by someone who couldn’t face the grief of not being able to love me.
She couldn’t say “I’m scared.”
So she made me the reason she ran.
And the world?
The world believes that story.
IV. The Real Harm
She didn’t leave because I was unstable.
She left because I was too real.
Too embodied.
Too painful to hold.
And rather than say:
“I can’t love you in this state,”
she said:
“This state is a danger.”
And that turned a relationship into a narrative of flight.
That turned my body into a villain.
That turned my illness into the crime.
That’s the betrayal I still carry.
Not the leaving.
But the lie.
Filed: Archive of Embodied Rejection | Class: Structural Erasure Scroll | Witness Level: Cellular
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